GWAR, Midnight, Mac Sabbath, X-Cops

GWAR The story of GWAR is carved across the history of this hopeless planet—but GWAR themselves are not of this world. Their story begins far past Uranus, in the deepest reaches of space, where the beings known as GWAR were warriors in the Scumdogs of the Universe, an elite fighting force in the army of the Master of All Reality. But GWAR proved too reckless and powerful, and after a series of tragic—but hilarious—blunders, they were banished to the furthest reaches of the galaxy with orders to conquer an insignificant, backwater prehistoric mudball known as Earth. Once here, GWAR—the original Ancient Aliens—shaped the face of the globe, wiping out the dinosaurs and mating with apes to create the human race. Having accidentally given rise to all human history, the Master of All Reality froze them in Antarctic ice, where they could do no further harm. It was there they were discovered by a shady entrepreneur known as Sleazy P. Martini, who sat the band down in front of professional wrestling, late-night horror movies, heavy metal music, and a steady diet of crack cocaine—until GWAR became the cultural force they are today. Midnight Cleveland’s favorite filth metal merchants, MIDNIGHT, today unleash “Nuclear Savior.” The latest single comes by way of the band’s forthcoming Hellish Expectations full-length, set to drop March 8th on Metal Blade Records. MIDNIGHT has been slaying the metal/punk underground with their own addictive brand of lust, grime, and sleaze dating back to the band’s inception. Filthy, belligerent, and obnoxious, MIDNIGHT makes music to start fights to. Blabbermouth once lauded a sound that’s “sleazy and at times a little icky, but is also incredibly catchy,” while Distorted Sound observed, “Part of the reason why MIDNIGHT’s output is so fantastic is that it is supremely digestible. You know exactly what it is you’re going to be subjected to across the next 40-or-so minutes, and that is always the audible equivalent of being repeatedly punched in the face by a large man with an anchor tattoo on his hairy forearm.” Invisible Oranges concurred, hailing a simple but effective formula of “maximum riffs, darkness and filth, no bullshit.” One-man army Athenar has been churning out an ungodly racket, dropping countless demos, splits, and EPs for over two decades. In 2024, he returns with MIDNIGHT’s sixth full-length, the blackened heavy metal rumblings of Hellish Expectations. “It’s a knuckle-dragger with a fat cutoff,” elaborates Athenar. “Pure testosterone meat. Probably the most concise and straight-to-the-point MIDNIGHT album to date—and all written in a weekend.” “It’s a song about hitting the restart button,” Athenar continues on “Nuclear Savior.” “Flushing the old world down the toilet and giving the new world a chance. It’s actually a song of peace.” Mac Sabbath MAC SABBATH is more than a rock band. MAC SABBATH is more than an arena-sized theatrical stage show packed into a club-sized stage. MAC SABBATH is more than a comedy, magic act, fast-food-bashing, off-Broadway play set to the music of the masters of mystical metal. Ronald Osborne and his band of Monsanto mutants—Slayer MacCheeze, Grimalice, and the Cat Burglar—are an anti-industry tour de force. Not only are they battling the food industry one Black Sabbath parody song at a time, but they’re also sticking it to the music industry by breaking all the rules. When corporations churn out prepackaged, auto-tuned pop fluff, Mac travels back to the psychedelic land of eye- and ear-melting vinyl records wrapped in coloring books—and even pop-up books. A tangible tangerine feast for the senses. MAC SABBATH puts on a multimedia stage show complete with a smoking grill, laser-eyed clowns, bouncing burgers, and many more magical surprises. Open your ears, eyes, and your mouth—and taste the natural flavor sensations and organic licks of these prophetic pranksters that are MAC SABBATH. X-Cops The X-Cops are back! After 25 years on the lam, the original Bad Boys of Law Enforcement have returned, bringing their unique brand of heavy metal with them. The world has never been more in need of the message they bring; “respect authority, or else!”, and they have the riffs and the fire power to back it up! Rumors about the identities of these uniformed thugs are rampant, with some even going as far as to say that they are made up of members of such legendary bands as GWAR, Rigor Mortis, and Darkest Hour, but the truth is they are actually former police officers who have banded together to beat the world into submission, force feed the public their own brand of Justice, and spread the word that All Cops Are Beautiful! The X-Cops are: X-Sheriff Tubb Tucker — Vocals X-Sergeant Al DePansia — Guitar and Vocals X-Lieutenant Louie Scrapinetti — Guitar and Vocals X-Officer Ed Banger — Bass X-Inmate #8048675309 — Drums X-Bike Cop Biff Buff — Vocals X-Agent Zypygski, the “Zipper Pig” — Vocals